Quicksand

I’ve never actually been in quicksand.  Although I’ve done some traveling in my day, I stay true to my city girl roots and don’t swap the urban jungle for an actual jungle. So I can’t be sure that what I went through today was quicksand, but man it sure felt like it.

When I woke up this morning my head felt fuzzy.  I showered without really thinking about what I was doing (and only shaved one leg!  Yikes!).  I didn’t have energy to do my hair, so a bun it was.  At school I found myself looking for words I knew but could not place.  I couldn’t concentrate while reading.  Forget grading.

After school I went for a run: 3 miles on leaden legs.  Usually I know why I’m slow.  A lot of my running game is mental, and I’m being lazy, or it’s the end of a long run and I’m hurting.  But today I was swimming.  I couldn’t move my legs any faster than they were going, and my lethargy knew no bounds.  If the park wasn’t a 3 mile loop I would have quit halfway through.  (Full disclosure: I weighed the idea of quitting but realized I was just as far from my car if I turned around than if I kept going so I kept going.)

I grocery shopped.  I wandered down aisles without knowing why.  I couldn’t name the thing I needed for dinner (eggplant.  For eggplant parmesan.).  I turned the wrong way out of the parking lot.

At home the baby and I just didn’t connect.  Usually she’s all smiles when I come home.  Today she frowned and reached away from me.  There were no giggles, no smiles.

I struggled through dinner, losing my place several times as I cooked.  There’s even water in my ear from my shower, making me feel like I’m underwater.

It was a quicksand kind of day.  Maybe it’s because today is Spring Break Eve Eve.  Maybe because it’s Wednesday.  Maybe because I’m tired.  I don’t know why.  But it was a quicksand kind of day, and I’m hoping to emerge clearer tomorrow.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Quicksand

  1. I commend you for going for a 3 miles run, even though you felt so lethargic. Seriously, Kudos. I felt the same today and skipped out on my workout and now I’m feeling the guilt.I think for being in quicksand, you were pretty productive. 🙂

  2. Yeesh- I feel that way too right now- although for me it is now Spring Break Eve! I am doing everything waaaay slower than I should be because of that fuzzy feeling! Great way to explain it with quicksand.

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