It is so easy to lose oneself in taking care of others. It is not easy to take care of others. It is not easy to lose oneself. But it is easy to lose oneself in taking care of others.
I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, because I’m not. I didn’t even particularly care for others all that much today–I attended a workshop for part of the day, then ran errands while my mother-in-law watched the baby. My husband and I didn’t even have dinner together (he’s watching March Madness with friends, I’m eating Oreos on the couch).
But maybe it was the NOT caring for people today that made me realize how easy it is to get caught up in it. I saw a picture on Instagram (of all places) about taking a Saturday morning yoga class and I thought, My God, how wonderful it would be to wake up on Saturday morning and take a yoga class. But that’s just not how my life works right now. My husband has baseball practice in the morning and is following that up with helping students at the library; the earliest I could get to yoga is 2:00 but we have a family birthday dinner tomorrow night that I still need to finish preparing for. Yoga is not in my cards tomorrow. That doesn’t mean it’s never in my cards, but I can’t help but think about how . . . lost I can get when I spend my days taking care of others. How I can get so caught up in caring for others that I don’t think about taking care of myself.
And it’s not like I’m being FORCED to care for others. (Well, maybe my daughter is forcing me to take care of her as much as a 5 1/2 month old can force anything.) I choose to do it. Do I do it to avoid taking care of myself? Maybe. But reflecting on how out of reach that yoga class is made me think about self care. I don’t think I do enough of it. Writing is a form of self care, and I’ve made time for that this month. So is reading. So is running. I have to remember as I race around taking care of others (make this dinner buy that present write those thank yous) that I’m a person who needs taking care of too.